The Accountant and Daniel Webster
“Don’t you ever balance your checkbook?”
“I’m not an acrobat.”
“How do you know if your check bounces?”
“I always hear some kind of twang.”
“Your problem is that you’re not fiscally responsible.”
“That’s why I hired you.”
“I can’t help if you don’t take your finances seriously.”
“But I do, I spend what I make.”
“This credit card statement says you spend more than you make.”
“I spend, therefore I am.”
“Debt is no kind of existence.”
“That’s what the guy on the phone said.”
“What else did this guy say?”
“He laughed, a whuh-ha-ha kind of laugh.”
“He sounds evil. Did your soul come up in the conversation?”
”He said hire an accountant or he’d haul my assets in court.”
“Just to be clear, are you sure he didn’t say ‘haul your ass into count‘?”
“I’m not sure, he lisped.”
“Then either way he threatened your booty with judicial penury.”
“Is that bad?”
“It’s a lot less dangerous than theology.”
“So can you fix this for me?”
“Any strong feelings about your soul?”
“Only if it’s worth something.”
“Oh, at this point I’d say it’s your only asset.”
1 comments:
I got a great kick out of this one, and it leads up to the last punch line very well .. .
i always wondered how to spell whuh-ha-ha ... like this!
the lisp bit is funny ...
and the title dead on ...
the only part that was a little flat for me was the 'i spend therefore i am ..." not sure how to rewrite this one so that it rings more real ...
"any strong feelings about your soul?" this a great question everyone in america (and beyond) should have to answer.
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